NY Lesson #4: Lesbian Bars

Aside from the great bagels, pizza, and diner food, one of the things I really miss about NY are the lesbian bars.

Yes, I suppose it is true that Madison is a very gay-friendly city– a pocket of blue in an otherwise red state. Lesbians are everywhere on this side of town. We go to the co-op and see lesbians with their kids buying organic food. We know quite a few gay women and some gay men. But, we lack an actual lesbian bar.

When we first moved to Madison there was a hilarious lesbian bar here. We went there once and found a “bar” that basically consisted of beer in a cooler, and women sitting around watching football on a small TV. Needless to say we left right away. It has since closed.

There is a gay club on the west side of town. But, it is mostly gay men and they have frequent country music nights. And it is quite a long drive. I’ve been there once or twice but it isn’t worth the drive across town.

Everyone says that Madison doesn’t need designated gay/lesbian bars as gays and lesbians are welcome everywhere. Well yes, that’s true, but not really. Sure I can go to the local dive bar with Jo and hold hands, but there are enough creepy people there to make it seem uncomfortable. There is something about lesbian-only spaces (well, lesbian-mostly spaces would be more adequate). I can’t explain it. I know the country is becoming more gay-friendly, but it hasn’t gotten there enough for me to feel 100% comfortable yet. It isn’t like I’m a lesbian separatist or anything, but going to a designated lesbian space to have a beer is just so comfortable and safe. And NYC lesbian bars where I came out over a decade ago just have a sentimental wonderfulness for me.

So here we have my beloved Cubby Hole. I love this place and I love this picture (I took it with a very slow shutter speed balanced on the bar– and I did all this, well, after quite a few drinks). The Cubby Hole is small, intimate and has a jukebox that plays a lot of Madonna and Peter Gabriel and occasionally the Indigo Girls. The bartender is a friend of my friend P. (who I stayed with) and someone else I know did all the artwork around the bar. It is just homey– a great place to sit and hang out and have a beer.

Yeah, so I am back in the Mid West. Thrilling. Leaving NY was tough– emotionally and physically. Emotionally because I can’t believe how much I missed it without realizing it, and physically because of my 1.5 hour E train ride from Penn to the WTC station, only to turn back in the other direction up and out to Queens and JFK (don’t ask). But before that I enjoyed a picnic in Central Park, a lot of great food, and a lot of other crazy stuff I’ll have to catch you up on later.

Oh yeah, and the conference. That was great too.