expectations

When they first told me I’d need immediate surgery last week, they also told me it was a “simple” procedure and that I’d be “up and around” in a few days.

Well, it turns out that prognosis didn’t really take into account all the pain I was in previous to the surgery (which really does a number on a body), all the hugely high doses of pain meds they pumped me with (also not so great for the body), and didn’t consider painful complications after the surgery.

And I think their definition of “up and around” is different than how I originally heard it. I thought “up and around” meant going into work (a desk job, not too strenuous) but I guess they thought “up and around” meant walking the short distance from the couch to the kitchen and reaching into the fridge. Having 3 incisions where they cut through muscles and stuff, not to mention removing large objects, actually means I am sore as all hell. Like, really sore. I’m certainly not going to be trudging up Bascom Hill, or working out on the elliptical trainer anytime soon.

So despite the fact that in my mind I think I should be starting to do regular things (work, working on my dissertation etc.), I’m not able to and that drives me nuts. So my big goals for the day are to take a shower and maybe go to Trader Joe’s. And since the vicodin makes me feel so loopy, I can’t really do much academic work beyond responding to emails from interviewees. So I can do some of that. And since it is so nice out, I’ll have to sit outside for a while.

I’m not good at this “taking it easy” and I also think I shouldn’t even complain because people have much more serious surgeries and health problems every day. So now I am expecting to maybe go into school Thursday. Until then I’ll try not to get too bored.