As of today, my summer teaching is halfway over! And technically I only have 3 more weeks of instruction, because the students are presenting their final projects the last week of class. Woohoo!
Overall, the class has been fine. I do love teaching this particular class. The summer course is intense in workload, but the students are doing okay with it so far. And I’m sort of amazed that I can be in charge of a whole classroom of students– I tell them what to do/write/learn and they do it. I don’t mean that’s weird because I’m on some kind of power trip, it just feels kind of strange and at the same time totally normal. I’m pretty comfortable and confident in the classroom, which I didn’t excepted (it’s not the same when you TA, for some reason). So all in all this is turning out to be a great experience.
But it does suck up A LOT of time. I’m trying to make sure lecture prep only takes a couple hours BUT prepping the powerpoint does take a bit longer because I become sort of nuts about finding photos and diagrams to illustrate my points. That goodness for The Google. How did people plan lectures without it?
I will say that I am NOT succeeding in my plan to get 2 hours of writing in a day. With a summer course and meeting 4 times a week, that just doesn’t happen. So I take whole days when I can (Friday and Saturday) and some afternoons. But, really, dispite the *immense* amount of work/writing creeping up on me, I haven’t freaked out about it yet. But, the ASA conference and all that goes with it (conference presentation, writing sample, cover letter etc.) is now a month away! But, still, I’m remarkably calm. I’ve been through ASA and the job market before, and I feel much more ready now then I did then.
The writing sample is probably my biggest task and the one that has taken me the most time to adjust my brain to what I have to do with it. It all started with a meeting with my advisor that was extremely metaphoric. It was all about trees, the forest, leaves and bark. And what a perfect metaphor me since I love trees. But, I left the meeting feeling like “jeez, I don’t know if I can see the forest and make larger conclusions about the forest.” I’ve been working at the level of bark, leaves, and trees for so long, trying to get to know my data. How could I suddenly change my view to larger things? And honestly, am I even capable of making larger conclusions about my data? So I thought about that transition for a little bit– trying to get accustomed to the idea.
Then, I had a few wonderfully confidence-inspiring moments. I had breakfast with a fellow grad student who assures me she “always” works at the forest level (and has trouble with trees and leaves), and that I could certainly do that. And then the same day I was reviewing a paper for a journal (the best paper I’ve ever reviewed, actually) and *my first publication* was a major part of the theoretical framework– about something not directly related to what that article was about. In short, someone is using my ideas to think about other things. Okay, that’s just too cool.
And then we had dinner with my advisor and husband and dog, and somewhere during the conversation about how skinny and young and wide-eyed I was when I started my grad school journey 6 years ago (and wow, I really was), I was struck with how incredibly far I’ve come. And I didn’t get here by accident, or by others’ good graces (which is how I used to frame my journey to grad school). I got to where I am now because every time I thought something was initially impossible, I dug my heals in and did it anyway. That, and the confidence of the people around me will definitely help push me through this (one of the last?) hurdles to my dissertation. Right? I’d like to think so, anyway.
