Anything you can donate, no matter how little, will be very appreciated. I plan to collect donations and give the cash to the family to use however they need too. They might also need other donations (computer, clothes, school supplies, books etc.) but I thought that cash would be the most useful thing for them right now.

News stories about the fire: WMTV (picture), WJS, and WKOW.

Filed under: random oddments ]]> http://watershed.wordpress.com/2010/03/21/help-a-family-who-lost-everything-in-a-fire/feed/ 0 watershed Madison+Fire2 http://watershed.wordpress.com/2010/01/03/the-best-of-2009/ http://watershed.wordpress.com/2010/01/03/the-best-of-2009/#comments Sun, 03 Jan 2010 16:17:28 +0000 watershed http://watershed.wordpress.com/?p=1232 ]]> 2009 on the surface seems like it might have been uneventful. We made no major move, I didn’t finish my dissertation (ha!), and I’m still in grad school in 2010 (don’t you dare do the math on how many years of higher education that is for me!) But it was a great year for a lot of reasons. Here’s a few of them:

• This year I definitely became a runner. I tried in previous years, and spent the second half of 2008 on the (boring) elliptical before switching over to the treadmill. And then in early 2009 I fell off the freakin’ treadmill and sprained my ankle. That kept me from running for over a month. In the spring and summer (when it wasn’t too hot) I started running outside, but I REALLY started to rack up the miles this past fall and winter. I worked my way up from being able to run barely 2 miles to running 4-5 miles and instead of a 12 minute mile, I run a 10ish minute mile. I barely changed my eating habits, and didn’t give up my nightly brew, and I still lost 15 pounds in 3 months. And running makes me feel great. Yay for running!
• I published my second article and first solo article. I also got into the habit of writing every day (something I’m sure I’ll pick up again this coming week). I cranked out a few drafts of dissertation chapters and worked on another article. All in all a good writing year (especially for forming good writing habits) but I still have a ton to do before defending this year!
• I went to the West Coast and California for the first time for ASA/SWS and for a few days of touring and sightseeing afterwards with C. It didn’t take me long to realize I love CA and San Francisco and I had a blast there. I saw redwoods and the Pacific for the first time, and particularly loved the SFMoma.
• While there, I got to reconnect with an old best friend from my first few years in college (when I was a theatre major). Not only was it amazing to reconnect with someone after 12 years and be able to talk for hours just like no time had passed, it put in perspective my decisions to leave theatre, and solidified my sudden decision to leave school. Not that I ever regretted that– I certainly haven’t– but I always felt some nagging “unfinishedness” about it. Now I see it in its perspective as one of the best decisions I ever made for myself. Yay!
• Thanks to Facebook, I’ve been incredibly lucky to get back in touch with people from high school and college, colleagues, and cousins etc. that I otherwise wouldn’t be in touch with on a regular basis. FB was one of the reasons S. and I saw each other in San Francisco. It expands my world and my perspective on things. I have conversations with people about things that I would never otherwise have. I wonder how different my college experience (leaving home, leaving college, taking time off etc.) would have been if FB was around back then?
• And then there’s the biggest event of the year– my sister and Rob’s wedding– the Wedding of the Century!! 2009 a year of wedding planning, dress-buying, gold-shoe-hunting etc. And in September Jo and I took a road trip to Maine for the event. We drove 19 hours and had so much fun, listening to Hem and Po’ Girl, Cat Stevens and Simon & Garfunkel, driving through state after state. I do love a road trip. The wedding itself was beautiful and perfect and I gained a new brother in law (and most recently a furry nephew, Gordon– their new kitten). The wedding itself made me realize how important not only family is, but how important people who are like family are. And my sister– the baby– seemed so grown up during the whole thing! Crazy!
• 2009 was also filled with so much reading– fantastic mysteries like Steig Larsson’s The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and a new Mary Russell book. And now I’m on a big Swedish/Nordic crime novel kick. I don’t think I’ve enjoyed reading this much since I was a kid.
• And there were great music discoveries in 2009– I needed new music to keep me from repeating the same playlists over and over again (although I will say that the concert with Ani Difranco, Dar Williams and the Indigo Girls was one of the most incredible experiences ever). Hem and Po’ Girl are just amazing, and are on constant rotation on my ipod. I seem to be getting into more and more folk music and couldn’t be happier with that. I saw Po’ Girl in concert and hope to see Hem soon too (so get touring, Hem!!).

I don’t know what 2010 will bring for this blog. I haven’t been writing as much for 2 reasons– (1) Facebook has replaced blogging for more of the day-to-day kinds of things I used to write about and (2) I feel like my audience is changed/different. I don’t know who all is out there anymore, and with job market stuff taking over my life, I feel less inclined to write about where I’m at. We’ll see what happens, though!

And then suddenly this week I started thinking about writing here. Maybe I need the outlet again.

This week I found myself pretty near paralyzed by simply presenting a 45 minute practice job talk at school. No, I don’t have interviews yet, I’m just trying to be prepared. And usually I do okay with presentations– or at least I fake them well enough to look put together and not as nervous as I actually am. This time I was just nervous, and not as prepared as I realized I needed to be when I got there. Distilling the dissertation down to a single talk in a way that is clear and interesting and does all the important things like laying out my theoretical contributions etc. seems like the biggest task in the world right now. And the fact that where I’m at with my dissertation at the moment means, I’m not too clear on what those contributions are myself doesn’t help. Oh, the joys of grad school.

There’s something about the job talk… I’m fine going to schools and talking with people, interviewing, etc. but The Job Talk is like an all-or-nothing kind of endeavor. A one shot deal. A make it or break it sort of thing. And so I’m going to have to conquer that.

I’m sure I’ll snap out of this. I just need some quality time with my dissertation in my carrel to remind myself of how great the work really is. I just need to squirrel myself away for a while.

And something else happened this week that’s upset me more than I thought it would. A friend of mine died. Someone I knew back in NY. She was almost exactly my age (32 years old), and for a while we did everything together– worked at the same place, hung out, drove to classes together etc. And then after all the drama at work, we went our separate ways, and for reasons I don’t even remember, stopped speaking. I always chalked it up to the fact she started working at another store, the crazy drama at our store that made everything difficult, and that some people just don’t work so well together– different personalities etc.

A couple years ago I tried to get back in touch with her. I heard she had been sick (with a very rare form of cancer), but I didn’t know how sick. She ended up emailing me and reaming me out for years of stuff she’d apparently been stockpiling against me from when we worked together. It was insane and ridiculous, and all of it was second-hand information that wasn’t even true. I seriously felt like I was in high school again and it pissed me off. So I told her so, and that she her own decisions at work and couldn’t blame others for them. And I told her I always missed her and wondered how she was, and had chalked everything else up to work issues. I don’t like to hold grudges. She wrote me back and was like “screw you” and I pretty much replied with the same. I was sad and hurt at the time, but didn’t need that shit in my life.

Nice. So that messed up bunch of emails was my last interaction with her. I’m not usually one of those people that needs everyone to like them, so that doesn’t so much bother me. The fact that she didn’t realize how much I enjoyed our friendship bugs me, though. And the fact she was my age and in a lot of ways (yeah, like me) had barely begun life. Sometimes it seems like 32 is lifetime of experience, but sometimes it is really obvious that it isn’t. To be cliche– life is too short sometimes. And that just makes me feel like what the heck am I doing spending a whole day catching up on email and watching SVU when I could be doing 1 of a million things I need to do. But if I do all those things I need to do, will I still have time to go out and enjoy the fall weather and crunch through some leaves?

Sorry to make this a bit of a downer. I’m planning on enjoying the fall this weekend– going pumpkin picking and to a corn maze with friends on Sunday. I’m going to run 3 miles tomorrow in the cool, crisp air, which always makes me feel more centered/grounded.

There’s a bunch of stuff I could and should catch you up on– so I’ll retroactively start posting about my trip to San Francisco, and then, of course, my sister’s wedding.

The summer has gone by so fast. It’s been a blur of teaching, planning lectures, and grading. I appreciate so much having the teaching experience, but lecturing 4 times a week is killer. It’s too much packed in a too short a period of time and it’s hard for the students and for me. Fortunately, they’re all giving presentations this week so I don’t have to prep anything (although I do have grading to do) so that I can get ready for the conference and interviews.

Early Friday morning I leave for 7 glorious days in San Francisco. Well, four glorious days, after 3 days at the conference, complete with interviews, receptions, presentations, and suit jackets. I even had a horrible dream last night that I was having an interview and someone asked me what my dissertation was about and I blanked and couldn’t remember. Fun.

I’m having serious flash backs to last summer at this time– buying new clothes, photocopying my CV. But, last summer I was so wonderfully optimistic about getting a job. It was fantastic to be that sure– it shielded me from others freaking out, and mostly from any nagging self-doubt. This year, while I’m told that I’m a much stronger candidate than I was before (and I do know it), I’m also much more aware of the fact that the market crumbled last year and that competition this time is even stiffer. It’s hard to forget that more are competing for for potentially fewer positions. Sigh.

So I want the naive optimism back. I need it back. So much of the job market is completely out of the candidate’s control that sitting around and stressing out about things you can’t control is a waste of time and energy. So starting now I’m going to build my own little sound-proof job market cocoon and ignore everything and everyone around me job-market related, send in my best materials, interview and enjoy it, and covet the advice of my advisor and committee.

And I’m SO EXCITED for San Francisco. I’ve never been, and part of me is worried I’ll like it too much (but I’m a Northeast girl!). I have plans to eat great food, see friends, go to alcatraz island, run across the Golden Gate Bridge, and take thousands of pictures at Muir Woods. So if I can just get through the 3 days of academic outfits and dissertation talk, I’ll be richly rewarded!

Overall, the class has been fine. I do love teaching this particular class. The summer course is intense in workload, but the students are doing okay with it so far. And I’m sort of amazed that I can be in charge of a whole classroom of students– I tell them what to do/write/learn and they do it. I don’t mean that’s weird because I’m on some kind of power trip, it just feels kind of strange and at the same time totally normal. I’m pretty comfortable and confident in the classroom, which I didn’t excepted (it’s not the same when you TA, for some reason). So all in all this is turning out to be a great experience.

But it does suck up A LOT of time. I’m trying to make sure lecture prep only takes a couple hours BUT prepping the powerpoint does take a bit longer because I become sort of nuts about finding photos and diagrams to illustrate my points. That goodness for The Google. How did people plan lectures without it?

I will say that I am NOT succeeding in my plan to get 2 hours of writing in a day. With a summer course and meeting 4 times a week, that just doesn’t happen. So I take whole days when I can (Friday and Saturday) and some afternoons. But, really, dispite the *immense* amount of work/writing creeping up on me, I haven’t freaked out about it yet. But, the ASA conference and all that goes with it (conference presentation, writing sample, cover letter etc.) is now a month away! But, still, I’m remarkably calm. I’ve been through ASA and the job market before, and I feel much more ready now then I did then.

The writing sample is probably my biggest task and the one that has taken me the most time to adjust my brain to what I have to do with it. It all started with a meeting with my advisor that was extremely metaphoric. It was all about trees, the forest, leaves and bark. And what a perfect metaphor me since I love trees. But, I left the meeting feeling like “jeez, I don’t know if I can see the forest and make larger conclusions about the forest.” I’ve been working at the level of bark, leaves, and trees for so long, trying to get to know my data. How could I suddenly change my view to larger things? And honestly, am I even capable of making larger conclusions about my data? So I thought about that transition for a little bit– trying to get accustomed to the idea.

Then, I had a few wonderfully confidence-inspiring moments. I had breakfast with a fellow grad student who assures me she “always” works at the forest level (and has trouble with trees and leaves), and that I could certainly do that. And then the same day I was reviewing a paper for a journal (the best paper I’ve ever reviewed, actually) and *my first publication* was a major part of the theoretical framework– about something not directly related to what that article was about. In short, someone is using my ideas to think about other things. Okay, that’s just too cool.

And then we had dinner with my advisor and husband and dog, and somewhere during the conversation about how skinny and young and wide-eyed I was when I started my grad school journey 6 years ago (and wow, I really was), I was struck with how incredibly far I’ve come. And I didn’t get here by accident, or by others’ good graces (which is how I used to frame my journey to grad school). I got to where I am now because every time I thought something was initially impossible, I dug my heals in and did it anyway. That, and the confidence of the people around me will definitely help push me through this (one of the last?) hurdles to my dissertation. Right? I’d like to think so, anyway.

This first week teaching has been a blurr of student add/drops, photocopying, textbook issues, and remembering what it is like to even been in the sociology building every day (I used to like to be sort of reclusive). And before that the two weeks of course prep was just insane. I’m glad I decided to get a dissertation chapter done before I began planning the course, because course planning took over my life. I spent a week getting readings together, and then a week on the syllabus. At least I feel prepared enough now to get through the whole summer without worrying about what to do every day.

Lecturing this summer is a great experience for me– and not just for my CV. I’m *trying* to apply the same moderation rules to writing to teaching. This past semester I managed to show myself that I could sit down and write every day, working in moderation instead of binge writing and panicking about unreaslistic deadlines. I actually finished a major article revision and wrote a 60 page chapter that way (and drafted another chapter), so I know it works, and I know it keeps me sane.

Applying that to teaching means that in theory I should be spending 2 hours prepping for every 1 hour in the classroom. Since I know lecturers who spend 4-6 hours prepping for every 1 hour in the classroom, 2 seems pretty radical. But I’m going to learn to do it now, instead of being completely overwhelmed as a new assistant professor (which will be next year, right? right?). Part of the idea of teaching in moderation also means going into the class with a short rough outline of your lecture, instead of writing it down word for word and trying to pack tons of stuff into class. That practice is great for me– I usually would go in with a very detailed teaching plan, and then get overwhelmed trying to cram everything in frantically. So instead I went in with a general outline and just talked, which seemed to actually work. But in general this week was a wash in terms of trying to moderate anything– I was too nervous my first week, and too bogged down with all the administrative stuff and student needs.

But next week I am going to go ahead with my plan– teaching AND writing in moderation every day. I have to. I’m starting to become grumpy from my lack of dissertation work pretty freakin’ soon. The plan is to go into the library in the morning and work for 2-3 hours in the lovely quiet of the historical library. And then I’ll head up the hill to teach, prepping for the next day after class in the afternoon. And then heading home to go running and spend the evening on job market stuff/grading/hanging out etc. Jeez, I’ve turned into quite a schedule person!

So that’s about the extent of the excitement in my life. That and I’m still running– 2-3 miles at a time (with liberal walk breaks). I’m toying with the idea of signing up for a 5K at the end of August, just to give myself something to strive for in terms of improving my running. I didn’t think I’d actually ever want to run in a race, but why not? 5K seems doable, but I’m not sure I’ll ever want to do anything as insane as a full marathon (26.2 miles)!

So what have I been up to? Writing. Trying to find as much time to write as possible. It’s basically all I want to do. With my day job winding to a close, I’m spending whole days in the library writing as much as I can. I have about 50 pages of 1 data chapter written, a pretty dense draft of another chapter, and a very drafty-draft of a third chapter. I want to send 1 chapter to my committee by the end of this month, and then the second in the next couple weeks. And I have an article I’m working on. So there is lots to keep me busy.

I’m basically grasping onto the fact that I love writing right now– that it’s all I want to do. I don’t know if that’s a fluke thing that might not last long, or if it is the wonderful outcome of having written digently every day for the past bunch of months, but I’m just going with it for now. Time is moving a long quickly again and the job market is right around the corner… the more I get done now the better!

Lots of stuff is also shifting… I’m nearing the end of the day job I’ve had for the past 5 years. It’s bittersweet in a lot of ways. On one hand I can’t wait to be done with it. The administrative side of academia and all it’s politics and petiness is not my favorite thing. On the other hand, I’ve worked with people there for years and I’ll miss the heck out of them. Generally I hate endings, so I’m hoping to just get through this one quickly this coming week.

And then I start teaching my own class in the middle of June. I’m not letting myself prep until I have 1 chapter of the diss sent out to my committee, but my brain is already turning with ideas for activities and assignments. It’s a qualitiative methods class– something that couldn’t be more perfect for me to teach. It lasts for 8 weeks and meets 4 days a week, so I’m going to have to be very disciplined about getting in my daily writing time, while also prepping for class no more than I need to. Oh, and grading.

But it’s not all work here in Watershed world. The harder I work, the more I want to go running (stress relief), hang out with friends, cook, grill, etc. I made a yummy grilled salmon last night, and a batch of devilled eggs. Today after spending some time writing I’m going to bake a fruit upside-down cake, and some pineapple coconut muffins.

So at the day before a friend of mine couldn’t go to the show and sold me her ticket. I am so glad. I didn’t realize how much I needed the music and the energy. I did cry most of the show (well, from Dar Williams on as I’m not really into Catie or Melissa). I knew I’d be emotionally overwhelmed but I didn’t expect that it would be out of appreciation.

Usually when I think of the amazing women who have influenced my life significantly, I think of family, mentors, friends. I realized while listening to Dar, Emily, Amy and Ani, that they’ve also had a huge impact on my life. From early high school on, I’ve gained incredible wisdom and support from these strong women. In college their lyrics were revolutionary– they were out, they were feminists, and they wrote lyrics that were like anthems. There are certain songs that Dar, Emily, Amy and Ani have written that I can listen to and instantly feel centered, grounded, reminded how how incredible the world is, and strong enough to move forward. I never really thought about the strength they have provided me through various ups and downs until I was sitting there listening, absorbed in the energy of the show. I mean, thank goodness for these women. Where would I be without them?

Throughout the show, inbetween solo sets, they played together. And there’s nothing I love more than my favorite artists singing together– like Ani and Dar singing a cover of Comfortably Numb– and watching them sing together live was just beyond awesome. It’s nearly a week later and I still feel high from the whole experience.

The final song everyone sang was the Indigo Girls’ Closer to Fine. The audience sang every word. Afterwards I left thinking I didn’t ever need to see any of them again in concert– it just couldn’t ever come close to seeing everyone sing Closer to Fine. Really, no more concerts for me (okay, I’d still love to see Hem and Nina Nastasia– oh and I wouldn’t pass up Imogean Heap or Bjork tickets, either).

Thank goodness someone had the brains to record the final number. Here you go– enjoy. I’m going to watch a bit myself now to put a smile on my face before I go to sleep…

I’m trying to tell you something about my life
Maybe give me insight between black and white
And the best thing you’ve ever done for me
Is to help me take my life less seriously
Its only life after all
Yeah

Well darkness has a hunger that’s insatiable
And lightness has a call that’s hard to hear
I wrap my fear around me like a blanket
I sailed my ship of safety till I sank it
I’m crawling on your shores

I went to the doctor, I went to the mountains
I looked to the children, I drank from the fountains
There’s more than one answer to these questions
Pointing me in a crooked line
And the less I seek my source for some definitive
(the less I seek my source)
The closer I am to fine
The closer I am to fine

So, not surprisingly, I’ve been busy writing. And running whenever I can. Actually, I could split my days into 3 different times– (1) writing (2) running and (3) other crap that keeps me from writing/running. Oh, and sleeping. A whole 9 hours a night lately. On the running front, I can run a whole 3 miles now. And running outside in the rain is my new favorite thing ever. I’ve actually started to hope that it rains on days when I’m going to run outside. There’s something about having a reason to get soaking wet and splashing through puddles that is wonderful.

On the writing front… well… I’m plugging away! Not that this is interesting to any of you, but right now my dissertation struggles aren’t so much with “omg I have to finish,” instead I’m focused on laying out the entire dissertation argument (or at least the bare bones of it), trying to figure out what pieces of data go best with what I’m arguing, and, well, getting each chapter fleshed out (another, nicer term for writing). I’m happy working in my carrel, or the reading room of the library, and I seem to do best working with paper and colored pens alongside my laptop. That doesn’t seem like a big achievement, but it took me *years* to become this comfortable with the way it’s best for me to work.

But suddenly its the end of April and I need to spend the next month solidifying 2 chapters for the upcoming Job Market: Redux. And I have an article to edit and send out the door. Oh, and there are job market materials to improve, dissertation committee members to keep in the loop, and a conference presentation to write as well. Yikes!

There are two things I’m very excited about coming up this summer. First, I’m lecturing my first class– Research Methods– and I can’t wait. I don’t remember ever being so excited about teaching. I think it’s a combination of the fact I am so much more confident as a sociologist than I was when I taught my first year of grad school (a mere 6 years ago!), and the fact that right now my day job is driving me nuts. I just have one month left there, and it’s taking a lot of energy to keep it in perspective and not let it aggravate me. I’m going to miss some of the people there tremendously, but it is WAY past time to move on. I’m not even freaking out about not have a job for the fall yet. I’m just happy to be moving on to something (anything) new.

The class I’m teaching meets 4 days a week for 8 weeks, so I’m going to have to be very strict about giving myself a few hours every morning for dissertation writing. Combine that with prepping for class and grading, and I don’t see much in terms of “fun” for the summer. But, just when everything reaches the point of complete insanity (the conference and interviews in August) I get to spend a week in San Francisco with my two best friends! So I feel like I can literally get through anything from now to that point.

In other more exciting and Zombie-related news, a friend of mine brought over her Nintendo GameCube on Sunday night and we drank beer and played some game called Resident Evil for hours. Jumping through windows, and kicking/shooting Zombies was fantastic fun– even when a masked Zombie cut my head off with a chainsaw!

With all my busyness I am increasingly aware of how important it is to play and to spend time with people you can laugh with.

Well, I’m not buying that too-adult-to-celebrate crap anymore. Life is short and any chance we get to celebrate the passage of time should be celebrated with as much excitement as we can muster!

So yesterday I turned 32. And to celebrate I had a bunch of great people over for a little party. I didn’t want a lot of fuss, and I didn’t want people to spend a lot of money on gifts and such. And since Jo just had surgery again this past week (she’s doing great, btw) I didn’t want her up and around unnecessarily cooking and entertaining. So I decided to invite a few select people over for 3 of my favorite things… pizza, beer and games. Actually 6 of my favorite things if you include wonderful people, laughter and ice cream cake.

It was a huge success.

Jo and I ordered pizza. Instead of gifts, I asked everyone to surprise me with some kind of beer they thought I’d like. This served to (1) provide beer for guests, (2) introduce me to some seriously yummy beers I wouldn’t have tried on my own and (3) stocked my fridge with enough beer to last for at least 2 weeks. Woohoo!

And we played Apples to Apples for hours. Let’s just say I do much better at that game when I’m not drinking so much. Last night I kept insisting crazy things like that witch hunts were “magical” and Schindler’s List was “spooky.” It all made sense to me at the time, anyway. And since I’m not 20 anymore and apparently can’t tolerate more than a few beers in an evening, I ended up waking up a couple times during the night for water and advil.

I’m feeling thoroughly spoiled gift-wise. Here’s what I got:

Jo bought me two huge coffee table books I’ve wanted forever– The Oxford Project and Weapons of Mass Communication.

She and my parents also each bought me a bracelet from my new favorite etsy store.

My mom and dad got me some lovely new silver earrings.

My sister bought me a thoroughly awesome owl pillow.

My parents bought me some great yellow retro pyrex containers and some particularly lovely jadeite containers and ice cream bowls. They look wonderful in my hoosier cabinet.

I also scored a Kohl’s gift card from my aunt, and the guy at the Trader Joe’s check out line gave me flowers.

And since Jo and I like to extend birthdays as long as we can, we’re going order sushi and rent a movie tomorrow night.